Hamlet (1948) IMDB rating: 8.00 Plot: William Shakespeare’s tale of tragedy of murder and revenge in the royal halls of medieval Denmark. Claudius, brother to the King, conniving with the Queen, poisons the monarch and seizes the throne, taking the widowed Gertrude for his bride. Hamlet, son of the murdered King, mournful of his father’s death and mother’s hasty marriage, is confronted by the ghost of the late King who reveals the manner of his murder. Seeking revenge, Hamlet recreates the monstrous deed in a play with the help of some traveling actors to torment the conscience of the evil Claudius. In a visit with his mother, Hamlet expresses his anger and disappointment concerning her swiftly untimed marriage. Thinking a concealed spy in his mother’s chamber to be the lurking Claudius, he mistakenly kills the meddling counselor, Polonius, father of Ophelia and Laertes. Claudius, on the pretext that Hamlet will be endangered by his subjects for the murder of Polonius, sends the prince to England.

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Please help me correct just a FEW SENTENCES, it won't take long. These are sentences within my essay confused?
They have to be in present tense, if they are not please show me how to put them in present tense, I already did my best to do that.

Please rewrite the sentence with the correct grammer, spelling etc. or any other mistake I made.

If it is correct please let me know.

Thanks!!
1) He finally devises a plan in order to take revenge and correct the acts of injustice.

2) As his acts become more violent and irrational, his self-respect declines, he has no humanity left within him.

3) The acts of injustice by Hamlet’s uncle cause him to act anomalously.

4) Ophelia is a young, naive women and is easily persuaded by outside forces, therefore she has no stable emotions and her self-respect is easily lost.

5) Her father, a role model she cares about and loves very much, is murdered suddenly and unreasonably.

These are sentences within my essay that I am unsure about.

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the first one should be devised
| Nov 18, 2009

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These are all right !!
jashswan | Nov 18, 2009

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2 ) As his acts become more violent and irrational, and his self-respect declines, he has no humanity left within him. **ALWAYS put a coordinating conjunction after a comma. Unless it is a list.****

3 ) The acts of injustice by Hamlet’s uncle causes him to act anomalously. ****Changed cause to causes****

4) Ophelia is a young, naive women, and is easily persuaded by outside forces. Therefore, she has no stable emotions and her self-respect is easily lost.

There you go.
The edited sentences
jelly.iscool | Nov 18, 2009

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First off two tips.
First most students tend to be more wordy than necessary and thus making the lines confusing. Use the KISS method, Keep It Simple "Superstar". Read each sentence and see if all the words are necessary.
Second, if you have MS Word, use it otherwise download from OpenOffice.org. Both have spell and grammar checkers that can help you out. Now for the lines
1. Correct
2) Shortened.
As his acts become more violent or irrational, his self-respect declines, losing all sense of humanity.

3) Spelling: cause: The acts of injustice by Hamlet’s uncle causes him to act anomalously. (not sure what the point is. Could you mean cautiously or paranoid?)

4) Spelling: naive, reworded: Ophelia is a young, naive women and is easily persuaded by others. Therefore her emotions are unstable and her feeling of self-respect is easily lost.

5) Her role model, her father, which she cares deeply about is suddenly murdered. (completely reworded. murder is never reasonable and need not be mentioned).
z
Wally Z | Nov 18, 2009

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Finally, he devises a plan in order to take revenge and correct the acts of injustice.

He has no humanity left within him because his acts become more violent and irrational, which causes his self-respect to decline

What caused him to act anomalously are the acts of injustice by Hamlet’s uncle .

Ophelia is a young, naive women who is easily persuaded by outside forces, therefore she has no stable emotions. Because of this tragedy, her self-respect was lost easily.

Her father, a role model that she cares about and loves very much, is murdered suddenly and unreasonably. (fine)
Robert | Nov 18, 2009

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1. good.
2. as his act becomes ….. and he has no……
3. okay :/ it sounds weird thought and im not sure how to fix it.
4.good
5. her father, a role model for whom she cares and loves, is suddenly and unreasonably murdered.

this is what i would do.

Ashley | Nov 18, 2009

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1) He finally devises a plan in order to take revenge and correct the acts of injustice.
Correct

2) As his acts become more violent and irrational, his self-respect declines and he has no humanity left within him.
I took out the comma and added "and". It was technically correct, but I think it flows better this way.

3) The acts of injustice by Hamlet’s uncle cause him to act anomalously.
Correct, but I’d choose "strangely" or "abnormally" rather than anomalously. It’s not incorrect, but it seems a bit awkward.

4) Ophelia is a young, naive women and is easily persuaded by outside forces, therefore she has no stable emotions and her self-respect is easily lost.
Correct

5) Her father, a role model she cares about and loves very much, is murdered suddenly and unreasonably.
This sentence *is* correct. I’m used to grading graduate level essays, so there’s some word-choice/word order and grammar-related picking I could do:
Her father, a role model she loves and about whom she cares very much, is murdered suddenly and without reason.
Procrastinating Student | Nov 18, 2009

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1) Finally, he devises a plan to take revenge and correct the acts of injustice. (reorder and simplify)

2) As his acts become more violent and irrational his self-respect declines. He has no humanity left. (break up and simplify)

4) Ophelia is a young, naive WOMAN and is easily persuaded by outside forces. She therefore has no stable emotions and her self-respect is easily lost. (break up)

I’m astounded how frequently people use women in place of woman and vice versa. The others are correct. You could make some word choice changes.
E. F. Hutton | Nov 18, 2009